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Posted on 10.23.07 by Widge @ 10:07 pm
So, Ken sent me this. And while I absolutely agree in the concept of equal time for all candidates, I think the solution to this is to give exactly what is called for: equal time. Comedy Central should be willing to provide a timeslot for a satirical talk show that any candidate is welcome to host, as long as he does so in character. Same thing with Fred Thompson. Any candidate should be given a show on NBC where they play a D.A. There's enough cop shows where this would be possible. Hell, you could almost do that with Law & Orders. See? Problem solved. Somebody pay me. Filed under: Free Ideas
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Posted on 08.04.07 by Widge @ 5:23 pm
I can't tell you the last time I watched anything on television live. If anything, I watch a bit during dinner, but that's usually British television and it can take me three dinners to get through an episode of The F Word. I'll finish eating, watch to the next commercial break, stop and come back to it. I used to watch Law & Order, but eventually ran out of time for even that. So. Filed under: General BS
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Posted on 01.16.07 by Widge @ 3:19 am
Okay, check this out. FCC Commissioner Michael Copps was also on hand at the conference and took broadcasters to task for their current content, speaking of "too little news, too much baloney passed off as news. Too little quality entertainment, too many people eating bugs on reality TV. Too little local and regional music, too much brain-numbing national play-lists." That's right…the people that will bend over backwards to fine folks because a vast (vast!) minority of letter writers will bitch about anything and everything are going to tell television what's the right content they should have. The people who get their panties in a wad about profanity and nipples and don't trust you to change the channel if you don't like what you're seeing…are getting ready to use the police power of the government to regulate what can and cannot be shown on television. Why? Because the networks show baloney and people eating bugs and that's not, in their estimation, quality. Newsflash, you dumb pricks. The vast majority of people like baloney and bugs. If they didn't, and they tuned out, then the networks wouldn't show it. The networks are in this for one thing and one thing only: money. If high brow entertainment sold well, then Spike TV would be doing Merchant Ivory marathons instead of Bond. Here's how this is going to work. Because Nanny Government thinks that you Americans aren't smart enough to pick your own radio and television programming, they're going to legislate it. Or lean on people so that they don't even have to go through Congress. And sadly, some of you Americans aren't smart enough to realize that this is a really terrible idea. Because first they're going to go after network television, then cable. They've already said they want to. So ask yourself if the government, which can't protect our borders, protect our ports, get out of the military's way to let them do their jobs, balance their own checkbook, or teach your children, is who you want telling you what you can eat and what you can watch and what you can listen to. And ask yourself if you want the government to have the power to dictate these things to you, especially when at any moment, your opposition could have control of the government. For you liberals, imagine what it would be like if right wing Christian conservatives had absolute power over television. For you conservatives, imagine what it would be like if left wing hippies had absolute power over television. Let your worst suspicions and nightmares run rampant. Because that's what you're inviting in. Half of you might be partying, but the other half–the smart ones–are very patiently waiting for it to be their turn to fuck with your world. Wouldn't it be so much safer just to not allow anybody that sort of power in the first place? Filed under: General BS
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Posted on 10.13.06 by Widge @ 6:14 pm
Kudos to Slashfood for presenting a problem, then presenting the solution. Problem: kids watch too much advertising on television targeting them for stuff that's bad for them. Solution: let them watch less television. I know that sounds blindingly obvious, but it escapes many. Limiting the amount of television a kid can watch involves parenting, and that actually takes effort. So. Oh, and here's what I love about the article they link to:
Okay, hold up there, Sherlock. Let me keep anybody from straining themselves. Food marketers–whose job it is to market–trying to hook young children as lifelong customers? Um, fuck yes they're trying to do this. With every fiber of their being, you dumbshits. I'll take whatever leftover funding you had for your ridiculous study now. You're welcome.
Request? Yes, I can see that. So wait…they requested it from whom? God? The Maker machine in their kitchen? The dog? No, last time I checked, three-year-olds can't drive out to the store and pick up a pack of Twinkies or whatever stuff kids are eating these days. They have to have adults to do that for them. Usually adults that spend the majority of time with kids that age are parents, but if they're just giving kids whatever they want, with no regard for nutrition or anything else, then they're not really parenting, are they?
You know, there's a really simple way to have a Commercial-Free Childhood, Diane. It's called Turn the Fucking Television Off. Last I checked, there weren't any advertisements in the best children's books. Nor do I remember in my childhood there being a bunch of billboards that followed me around while I was running about the neighborhood. Whose responsibility is it to protect kids from things? Right. That pesky P-word again. And what is "viewers' trust"? Who the hell trusts a channel on television, anyway? What exactly are you trusting them to do? Now, it's not clear in here that anybody's looking to restrict ads through legislation–they don't mention the G word explicitly–but when we've got studies that are still searching for evidence that kids are being marketed to (which, in my mind, is like 60 Minutes doing investigative reporting about that fishy heliocentric theory) and this entire conversation happening without parents being mentioned (except here and on Slashfood–another blog), then I get worried. It's much easier to abdicate responsibility to Nanny Government than to actually tell your kid, no, you can't have a cupcake. Filed under: General BS
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Posted on 03.04.06 by Widge @ 3:37 am
Widge's bulletized review:
I'm very disappointed that Trial By Jury died and now this thing is here to take its place. I won't bother to watch again. I'm torn between thinking it'll die after a few episodes or, because things that are bad tend to be embraced by the Great Unwashed, it'll run for eight years. Yawn. Music Postscript: Turbonegro's enjoyable "All My Friends Are Dead." When it hits your MP3 list, it sort of acts the bully to any stray modern pop songs you might have hiding out. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Found via callmeMICKEY. Filed under: General BS
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John Robinson is a writer of prose, poetry and comics who also writes under
the pseudonym of Widgett Walls.
This is my latest book. Short stories written especially for you, or at least someone who reminded me a lot of you at the time.