A Mighty Fortress is Their God
Posted on 01.23.08 by Widge @ 8:11 pm

Westboro Baptist Church is going to picket Heath Ledger's funeral.

He's dead, assholes. Why not see to the living, like that guy Jesus would have wanted you to do? Jesus. You might have heard of the guy.

And folks, remember, if you don't believe in their God, he will show his unending love for you by boiling you in hell for all eternity.

I much prefer this.

Filed under: General BS
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Call Me Crazy, But…
Posted on 01.22.06 by Widge @ 3:45 am

…after reading about the Campaign For A Commercial-Free Childhood over at Reason and their plans to sue people for making their kids fat, I decided to visit their website.

You know, it's funny, but in their Take Action section I don't see anything as profound as "Turn off your goddamn television and make your kids read a book." So that would lead me to believe these whackjobs think they should be able to plonk their kids down in front of the boob tube and have the whole thing be commercial-free lest it warp their kids fragile widdle minds. Which means, from what I can tell,that we have yet another group of people having no clue that running a network costs money. And that money comes from advertising.

I'm sorry, but if you don't have enough control over your children that you can counter commercials for sugary breakfast cereal, then you really, honestly, should go get neutered and/or spayed. Because the idea that we should make the whole world safe for children who don't have parents that can actually parent is ludicrous to the extreme. I grew up and had all manner of commercials aimed at my head for the whole time I was a kid, and yet somehow I'm still alive and moderately well-adjusted. Your inability to do your jobs as parents is not my problem, nor is it the problem of corporations. I can only pray that our judicial system laughs your ineffectual asses out of court. Once that happens, I suggest you find a solution here.

You're welcome.

Filed under: General BS
Comments: 4 Comments


John Robinson is a writer of prose, poetry and comics who also writes under the pseudonym of Widgett Walls.

Widgett Walls is the director of Needcoffee.com who also writes under the pseudonym of John Robinson.

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