Oct
11
2006
4

Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451, and the Definition of Irony

Trying to get a book about burning books banned during Banned Books Week. Priceless.

"The book had a bunch of very bad language in it. It shouldn't be in there because it's offending people. … If they can't find a book that uses clean words, they shouldn't have a book at all."

But check it out: the father "looked through the book and found the following things wrong with the book: discussion of being drunk, smoking cigarettes, violence, "dirty talk," references to the Bible and using God's name in vain. He said the book's material goes against their religions [sic] beliefs."

So no real profanity for the most part, just stuff that they don't do. That's offensive. Things different than what they believe = offensive. Are you getting this? If you can't have a book without drinking, smoking, violence, and using the Lord's name in vain–then you shouldn't have a book. At all.

Can we just put all of these people in a walled community somewhere where they can be safe from…you know, real life?

Honestly, think about it: who's going to be the first people to retreat into cyberspace and establish their own version of Second Life where they can be free to interact with one another in a godly fashion? The religious whackjobs. There's a short story in there for somebody. I don't feel like writing it, but somebody run with it, would you?

Found via Boing Boing.

Oct
07
2006
5

Gwinnett County Mother vs. Harry Potter

Let's think about this for a second here. You've got four kids. You want to ban Harry Potter from schools. Wait–why?

Because you think it's a secret way to get kids interested in Wicca? Lady, I hate to tell you this–but I know some Wiccans. They can't make brooms fly or turn lead into gold or anything cool like that. If they can and they haven't hooked me up with some magic by now then I'm going to be pissed. But be that as it may.

It's fairly obvious that you can handle keeping your four kids from reading Harry Potter. So if you've got your kids covered, just exactly who are you trying to protect?

Ah, everyone else. It's not enough that you can affect your own children. You want to control what everyone else reads too. So not only do you think that you and your family are too weak to handle reading Harry Potter and come out with your faith unscathed…you think no one else can handle it either.

God forbid (no pun intended) that later in life they should get ahold of some Richard Dawkins or some Robert Anton Wilson or anything that might make them think. They're in danger from J.K. Rowling for crying out loud! Man, that must be a really sad spiritual place to be, don't you think?

Oh, and thank you Victoria Sweeny for having common sense and using it to protect the students of Gwinnett County from people like this. It's bad enough they should be in public schools without having this to deal with on top of everything else.

Found via Drudge.

Sep
28
2006
5

Holy Crap! My Books Have Been Banned!

No shit! Look! Here they are in a Banned Books Display!

I'm…shocked! And appalled! How could this have happened?

Oh, the huge manatee!

Rox of Spaz-House, minding her own business, through no efforts on her own part–whatsoever–found my two creations on display such.

My poor babies…targeted for this oppression. I'm speechless.

But not so speechless that I can't say this: doesn't this make you want to buy them? Doesn't this make it seem necessary to buy them? Because it's obvious that THE MAN doesn't want you to. THE MAN wants to keep them down, and by keeping them down, he wants to keep you down too. What's in these books that scares THE MAN? Wouldn't you like to know? Don't you feel you need to know?

Are you going to let him get away with that bullshit? Huh? Are you going to roll over for THE MAN and be his bitch?

Or are you going to e-mail me immediately and order them using your Paypal account to send me coin? In fact, I'm so eager to help you stick it to THE MAN that I'm going to give you free shipping for the books.

That's right. Free shipping. In fact, if you want, I'll even sign it with your own personal inscription of inspiration since we will be brothers in the fight against THE MAN. Join the fight today!

I'm not shitting you. This is the outside of the library. Think I can papier mache an owl that huge? I think not. This is real, buckos. It's on the Net, right? So it must be real! TO ARMS! TO ARMS!

Widge and his teeth...kinda

This is me.

No, really.

I am a writer, poet, spoken word performer, actor, singer, improviser, content creation and idea machine, freelance iconoclast, and the internet's janitor that dispenses pop culture wisdom to the protagonist of your choice. I have seen too many movies, read too many comic books, and when the zombies finally come, I'm the one you want to call. I sure as hell won't answer the phone, but it's the thought that counts. I advise people on the net, websites and technology, because I know these things instead of having a life or sleeping.

If you like something I've done, donate to the Widge Wants to Kill His Day Job Fund. Or if you'd like to hire me for a job, my rates are terribly reasonable. We thank you.

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