Give this a read.

Sound familiar? How about when I put it like this:

1. We must do something to prevent fraud in buying autos!

2. Taking your thumbprint is something!

3. It must be done!

This is rough. Check out this latest missive from the Pirate Bay guys.

Now look at this line:

Democracy is about freedom and its foundation lies within the fact that everyone has the right to all information, culture and creativity.

Now, from what Wikipedia tells me about Sweden, it's a "representative parliamentary democracy under a constitutional monarchy," which I think is safe to assume is correct since to my knowledge Stephen Colbert does not have Sweden in his crosshairs at this time. So I'll give him that. Still, he's not living in a pure democracy, because as I believe we've said before, democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting as to what's for lunch.

But still, does anybody here really think that the foundation of democracy, the rule of the people, is that the people get all information, culture and creative stuff for free? I thought the foundation of democracy was the direct participation of citizens in government. Granted, I went to school in Alabama, but I think it was something like that.

And where–anywhere–does it say that you have the right–not the option, mind you, but the right–to download the latest Bruce Springsteen album free of charge?

Now, to quote Uncle Bill, "I'm with the invaders. No use trying to hide that." Of course, the next bit is something to the effect of "But I disagree with some of what they are doing."

And here we go.

Let's not have anybody stupidly running around saying that they have a right to get shit for free. For example, the only reason you can get my books for free–or at least, digital versions of them–is because I have decided to make them available for free. So you have no right to jack shit of mine, Mikael. As I've stated before, if it's my choice to make it available for free, I will more than likely do so, but if you come around here pissing and moaning about your right to my books, then I'd rather burn the fuckers than let you have them under those terms.

The battle you're fighting is to get businesses to change their business model so that what you're doing can be seen as a bonus for them if nothing else. They have to be convinced that piracy, or what they define as piracy, actually can generate sales as opposed to killing them off completely.

But if you go around saying that piracy's good because it gets you the shit you want for free, well, the companies are going to go down fighting you. Because in that scenario, they can't win. You see, creating this stuff takes time, talent and money. And while the people reading me right now are thinking, "Yeah, Widge, but those companies you're defending gave us Batman and Robin, Joey and The DaVinci Code." To which I say, "Yeah, but they also brought you Batman Begins, Deadwood and Harry Potter." They have been known to provide a bit of entertainment in their time.

If you kill the companies by demanding that you get their shit for free, then what are we left with? Watching teenagers act stupid on YouTube? Are you really telling me that you would support the guys who made House (the series, not the movie franchise mind you) to go make it without a network's support? Wait, no, Mikael, of course not–because you have the right to that series without paying a dime–anywhere, anytime. That means you should be able to get it commercial free and on demand, and the networks should just suck it up and deal.

So, Mikael, you're not helping. Get your shit together. There is a way that this can end with everybody happy, but if you're demanding everything for nothing then no one's going to take you seriously. And the artists who do actually sort of agree with most of what you're up to–like me–are going to leave you for the wolves because you've gotten out of line with too many imaginary "rights."

In case you were wondering why you were unable to sell me on your VOIP service, it's because my cable modem is down now…again. And only an idiot has a single point of failure for all his communications. Especially when that single point of failure is handled by a company that doesn't even have the sense necessary to A) have a website that has an ongoing outage status so I don't have to call and pester the support staff to find out WTF's happening, 2) sends out e-mails to its customers when they're having a problem so that they don't have to call and pester the support staff, and III) post a warning in advance of any planned maintenance-related outages.

March boldly into the 20th Century in regards to those three issues and then come back and talk to me about your reliable phone service.

Love,
Widge

Please never breed.

Love,
Widge

I was just flipping through some pre-One Year Later issues of Green Arrow. Here's my question: is it possible to have a page with Doctor Light in it where he doesn't remind us that he's a rapist?

It almost gets this bad:

Street Vendor: Say, mister, would you like a ice cream cone?

Doctor Light: Hmmm, yes. It melts just like the innocence of Sue Dibny after I RAPED HER.

I mean honestly. This shit is horrible.

Their tag line for their movie, Shut Up & Sing is this:

SHUT UP & SING illustrates that freedom of speech is fine… as long as it's not exercised in public.

Is there any better illustration of the fact that free speech works in this country than three chicks who are so blatantly unaware of how free speech works who make a documentary showing off their ignorance?

The way the Dixie Chicks think free speech works, apparently, is that by me using my right to free speech to criticize them for using their right to free speech, I am somehow usurping their right to free speech. Their definition of free speech apparently is the ability to say whatever you want and not get criticized.

Does this qualify as irony at all?

P.S. "God bless them," for those that don't know, translates from Southern into English as "They're so stupid."

Read the whole thing, including the links.

Yes, it's about the whole Aqua Teen idiocy. A couple of points to make:

5. The FCC can't pull a private cable network's license, Mayor Hyperbole McFuckwit.

You shouldn't have told him that, amigo. Now he's going to push for some way of making that reality. Government folks want absolute power like Stephen Colbert wants to control reality via Wikipedia.

Sidebar: ten years ago we would have truly thought that "Wikipedia" was some kind of silly-named device used to take over/destroy the world. Omegahedron, anyone?

And from the ToonZone editorial he links to:

The government's handling of this situation has proven incompetent at best.

Why am I a borderline anarchist? Because in this world, that statement is applicable every single day. Think about it. When's the last time you looked at something the government did and went, "Hey, you know what? Wow. I wouldn't have changed a single thing about that. Goddamn, that was slick." Instead, that same line can be used for: border security, airport security, port security, the war in Iraq, Katrina, the national budget, respect for the Constitution especially free speech, and on and on and on. Go ahead, try it: think of something, and that line just fits doesn't it? We need that line on billboards.

Also, people keep talking about the other cities in which the campaign was based and how only Boston freaked, but I wonder how many people actually called in a freakout? I think–and this is based on the normal amount of hysteria that's in the air (liquids on planes, anyone?)–that the other cities were a phone call away from doing the same thing.