Posted on
09.28.06 by Widge @ 10:32 pm
 No shit! Look! Here they are in a Banned Books Display!  I'm…shocked! And appalled! How could this have happened?  Oh, the huge manatee!  Rox of Spaz-House, minding her own business, through no efforts on her own part–whatsoever–found my two creations on display such.  My poor babies…targeted for this oppression. I'm speechless.  But not so speechless that I can't say this: doesn't this make you want to buy them? Doesn't this make it seem necessary to buy them? Because it's obvious that THE MAN doesn't want you to. THE MAN wants to keep them down, and by keeping them down, he wants to keep you down too. What's in these books that scares THE MAN? Wouldn't you like to know? Don't you feel you need to know?  Are you going to let him get away with that bullshit? Huh? Are you going to roll over for THE MAN and be his bitch?  Or are you going to e-mail me immediately and order them using your Paypal account to send me coin? In fact, I'm so eager to help you stick it to THE MAN that I'm going to give you free shipping for the books.  That's right. Free shipping. In fact, if you want, I'll even sign it with your own personal inscription of inspiration since we will be brothers in the fight against THE MAN. Join the fight today!  I'm not shitting you. This is the outside of the library. Think I can papier mache an owl that huge? I think not. This is real, buckos. It's on the Net, right? So it must be real! TO ARMS! TO ARMS! Taggification: banned-books, damn-this-oppression, fight-the-man Filed under: General BS
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John Robinson is a writer of prose, poetry and comics who also writes under
the pseudonym of Widgett Walls.
This is my latest book. Short stories written especially for you, or at least someone who reminded me a lot of you at the time.
Where the manatee? I want to see the manatee.
Comment by ScottC — September 29, 2006 @ 7:21 am
My long time friend - have you been reduced to snooping around the library at Hogwarts? No, wait, this must be their Christian counterpart. Note how the keyhole mimics the stigmata? Note how the key handle bears an "Alpha" and the teeth an "Omega?" Note how the owl is dry humping the book? Wanton, I tell you!
Comment by Pan Pan the Half-Goat Man — September 29, 2006 @ 10:09 am
What about those of us that bought them before it was *cool*? Do we get extra street cred or a decoder ring or something?
Congrats, sir, you've finally made it. Kind of. I guess.
Comment by Ripptide — September 29, 2006 @ 10:34 pm
I think I pee'd a little… you are a genius… at making people pee a little
I don't have many heroes, but the list is certainly growing my friend.
Your Friend
Comment by Jennifer — September 30, 2006 @ 1:19 am
Pan: My books make owls want to hump things! No wonder they were banned!
Ripp: Buying my books beforehand probably means that you're on file somewhere in THE MAN's vast database.
Jennifer: As for making people pee, that's just the way with caffeine. Remember, it's a diuretic. But thankee kindly all the same.
Comment by Widge — September 30, 2006 @ 3:18 am