This week, the Catholic League ran an ad in the New York Times calling on Ron Howard to have the decency to do what Dan Brown, author of the novel, did not do: declare up front and in no uncertain terms that the movie is fiction. The letter written by William A. Donohue, President of the Catholic League, states, "As the director, you have a moral obligation not to mislead the public the way the book's author, Dan Brown, has. Putting a disclaimer at the beginning of the film noting that this is a fictional account would resolve the issue." (Source: Da Vinci Outreach)

Basically, what you're saying, Catholic League, is that Catholics are too dumb to figure stuff out on their own and might mistake a movie for reality. Which is why Independence Day had people freaking out thinking that the prophecy of V had come to pass. And why the recent War of the Worlds had people freaking out just like the Orson Welles radio version did. And why every time there's a Rob Schneider movie released, suicide rates soar.

Are you saying, guys, that Catholics are so feeble in the head that they'll believe anything that even smells true? Dan Brown's book, last time I checked, was located in the FICTION section of your local brick and mortar bookstore. Dan Brown saying anything otherwise means, in my opinion, that he's an extremely savvy marketer.

If Catholics' faith collectively is so fragile that this book is going to be its undoing, then you people have more serious problems than a third-class mystery-thriller, folks.

Unless, of course, as I've surmised before, you guys are running a scam with Brown and splitting the profits. Then it all makes perfect sense. Honestly, I should write a damn book about that and claim it's true and get totally meta on all your asses.

Post Script: From Brown's website FAQ on the book:

HOW MUCH OF THIS NOVEL IS TRUE?

The Da Vinci Code is a novel and therefore a work of fiction.

Yeah, first question. It's also assumed, apparently, that Catholics can't read. Wait, then how did they read the damn book in the first place? Oh, audiobooks. Fine.