Feb
26
2006
0

Dear Google: Give Up on the Trogs

Dear Google:

The idiots who are suing because they don't want you to help promote their books now think that the Perfect 10 case, in which you might be impacting mobile porn as a burgeoning revenue stream, gives some added ammunition to their lawsuits.

Here's an idea. I realize you're trying to make everything on the planet searchable, but for these idiots who don't want you to help them sell their books, I suggest you adopt this policy:

Fuck em. Just fuck em.

Why not help authors who like you make shitloads of money then we can laugh when the others come crawling back to you for aid and succor? I'll make the popcorn…

Found via Slashdot.

Written by Widge in: General BS | Tags: , ,
Feb
26
2006
0

Paul Anka Covering "Wonderwall"

If this doesn't make you want to punch a kitten, then I'll be amazed.

Written by Widge in: General BS | Tags: ,
Feb
26
2006
0

Genius at Work or Sheer Stupidity? As Always, It's a Toss-Up

As the movie of the most overhyped book of our time approaches–a movie in which the trailer gives away at least one very important plot point, if not two–a new website, DaVinci Outreach, has launched, promoting "an easily accessible, question-and-answer book that thoroughly refutes the blasephmous [sic] claims that are harming the faith of millions in The Da Vinci Code."

Okay, I've got to say something about this.

First of all, when you're trying to counter something, at least be able to spell it, fellas. It's "blasphemous"…um, well, for Christ's sake. I mean, when I'm dashing out a website I make spelling mistakes too, but when it's a core idea of your website, run a spellcheck. You don't see me writing "fcition" or "fntasy" or some crap like that. If you do, feel free to smack me in a comment.

Second, on the surface, this just looks like a key problem with most religions: when you start to believe one book of fiction is true, then all other books of fiction can be true as well. These people actually think DaVinci Code is real. And granted, Dan Brown has, as I understand it, been stating that his book is based on a lot of facts. However, that is because Brown may be a hack, but he is also a marketing genius. Either that, or he's got people on staff that are marketing geniuses. Nothing sells like controversy, and so he's taking a book that is obviously fictional and painting it with a non-fiction brush in order to get people to buy it.

Which means that either the Catholic Church is in on the scam or they're just ridiculously dense. Again, it's a toss up, isn't it? Because hmm, let's see, the Catholic Church and conspiracy just go like hand and glove, don't they? And what do they get out of it? A crisis of faith where they can get on the news, easy sermon ideas, and folks like the people behind this website can sell some books.

Sidebar: what is this crisis of faith nonsense, anyway? Have you ever met somebody whose faith was shaken by a book of fiction? I mean, I've met plenty of folks who when doing research using non-fictional sources, they've come out of it with a new view on life, but fiction? Again, I wonder sometimes if these people can tell the difference.

Back to the dense part: they would have to be remarkably obtuse to keep making statements about this book three years after its release. That's right, according to Amazon, the hardcover hit in March of 2003. I know it's hard to imagine a time when this book was invading our lives. Has this thing been out of the news for a month at a time? No? Why is that? Because every time you turn around there's somebody from the Catholic Church denouncing the thing, when everyone in the world has moved onto other books. It's like they want to make sure every Catholic has bought their very own copy–or, since these people are notorious for protesting things they haven't actually read or seen–at least have it in their minds. Do these people not understand they are a marking dream come true? This is why I think: man, must be they're in league with Brown. Otherwise, why would you keep bringing it up long enough for the movie hype to take over where they book hype faded?

Okay, one last thought and this ramble will go away. I know you know people who have said that the book was the best thing they read all year. Here's a quiz: ask them just how many books they read that year. Because, let's face it: if you only read whatever Oprah says to read or "the next book everybody's reading," then yeah, Brown can be an okay page-turner–simply because you don't know any better.

What is the lesson? Take a page from Brown and Gibson: create something controversial, and fan the flames, while watching your book sales soar.

Will I learn from it? Sadly, probably not.

Written by Widge in: General BS | Tags: , , ,
Feb
25
2006
0

Some Music Updates

Been meaning to throw more of these at you. Life beat me up in an alleyway and coated me with spray cheese. It was traumatic. And 1/3 less fattening than a normal metatextual mugging.

  • Innocence Mission's "What a Wonderful World"–I'm behind on grabbing their albums. Their first is still my favorite, but they're all pretty damn good. This is a cover I didn't know existed. Very nice. Found at Puddlegum.
  • Rilo Kiley's "Bulletproof"–There's always something endearing about a sweet-sounding female vocalist singing an "It's over" song with lines like "How many blows to the belly will this take/ That we refer to as our true love?" Priceless. Found via Music for Kids Who Can't Read Good.
  • Matchbook Romance's "In Transit (for you)"–I could listen to this for freaking days. "Monsters" is pretty righteous as well. Found them via Ex Best Friend.
  • sourceVictoria's "Burn the Pianos"–Slow, steady, methodical and presumably sad. I keep going into this weird zone whenever I try to focus on the lyrics. Normally when one sings about setting fire to things, you're either being profound or you're wishing you were Art of Noise. Found via So Much Silence.
  • Richard Swift's "The Million Dollar Baby"–Happy slightly poppy vocals with a chorus that says, "I wish I was dead most of the time/ But I don't really mean it, no…" Fun to sing along with in the car when you're going to the job that makes you feel that way. Found via PocketTrax.
  • Taxpayer's "When They Were Young"–Pretty much tasty straight up rock. As opposed to rawk. There is a difference. Found at Ben Loves Music.
  • Weezer's "Pink Triangle"–I never was able to stomach Weezer before. I think that's because, aeons ago, when that goddamn sweater song of theirs was on the radio–and I was still listening to radio (that's right, kids, back then you had to listen to broadcast radio if you didn't own an 8-track in your car)–that song would make me break out in raging, four-part harmony hives. I must needs revisit them after hearing this. Hilarious. Found via Grow Wings.

I'd like to also point out that the "Numb Encore" mashup of Linkin Park and Jay-Z is something I can actually listen to. I think I've reached the conclusion that Linkin Park is for pe0ple who look at Korn and go, "Yeah, that's a little too heavy for me, thanks."

More later. All of this found with the aid of the evil that is The Hype Machine. Stay away from that place if you know what's bad for you.

Feb
24
2006
0

The Hurtt Prize

If this original story is accurate, then this is genius.

Found via Reason's Hit and Run.

Written by Widge in: General BS | Tags: , , ,
Feb
24
2006
0

Marble Mocha Macchiato and The American Way

Stopped by a Target to check something out…what should I find but a Starbucks. This is not news. What I found novel, however, is what they handed me along with my "venti quad no-whip" marble mocha macchiato. For those of you not well versed in Starbuckspeak, that basically means I got the drink with four espresso shots, in the largest size available, without flagellation.

The bonus bit was a "marble chocolate stir stick," defined as "a blend of Belgian milk chocolate and white chocolate," the idea being that I should stir this into my drink, thus upping the chocolate content therein.

And I thought to myself: yes. This is the American way: have a stick of chocolate to add to this heaping frothy coffee chocolate concoction. Why? Because, dammit, anything worth doing is worth overdoing.

I love this country.

Written by Widge in: Insomnia | Tags: , , ,
Feb
21
2006
0

Content #2 is Going Online

Gia-Bao Tran is putting up a page a week from the new Content #2. I talked about the previous issue here. Click Comics on the left hand side of the screen (lower part of a guy's face) and check out the goodness.

You see, online comics should work like that: Tran can write and draw. To quote a wise man: I weep in my soul.

To drown my sorrows, here's Page 9 of Next Wave Issue 4, courtesy of my non-artistic ass.

Written by Widge in: General BS | Tags: , ,
Widge in his natural habitat

This is me.

No, really.

I am a writer, poet, spoken word performer, actor, singer, improviser, content creation and idea machine, freelance iconoclast, and the internet's janitor that dispenses pop culture wisdom to the protagonist of your choice. I have seen too many movies, read too many comic books, and when the zombies finally come, I'm the one you want to call. I sure as hell won't answer the phone, but it's the thought that counts. I advise people on the net, websites and technology, because I know these things instead of having a life or sleeping.

If you like something I've done, donate to the Widge Wants to Kill His Day Job Fund. Or if you'd like to hire me for a job, my rates are terribly reasonable. We thank you.

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