Ken tried to sing "Old Man River," and then commented that it doesn't work unless sung by a bass. So I gave it a try.
He said, no, that I'm a turkey bass. So it still doesn't work. I said that I was a second bass, so I can hit the notes.
He said, no, turkey bass = white guy.
As promised, I am posting this revelation for the world to see. Or at least the three people who read this site.
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This is me.
No, really.
I am a writer, poet, spoken word performer, actor, singer, improviser, content creation and idea machine, freelance iconoclast, and the internet's janitor that dispenses pop culture wisdom to the protagonist of your choice. I have seen too many movies, read too many comic books, and when the zombies finally come, I'm the one you want to call. I sure as hell won't answer the phone, but it's the thought that counts. I advise people on the net, websites and technology, because I know these things instead of having a life or sleeping.
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Could be worst, you could be a turkey baster.
I'm just frightened that the two of you were singing that song… that vision will be stuck in my head for the rest of my life, and I wasn't even there…
Four.
Thanks, Elaine, but I meant the ones I don't pay. Wait, shit, I've said too much.
Oh. OK. Check came Friday, btw. Thankee!