I remember when picking up a copy of the Weekly World News used to be a treat.

But now…here's just an example. A story of a little girl who sang so hard so literally sang her heart out. As in, while doing her medley of songs from Footloose, her heart burst from her chest. Sounds good so far, right?

The little girl's last name is Clamor. The teacher's name is Mrs. Warble. The school nurse's name is Nurse Chapel. The doctor's name is Dr. Klott. The girl's condition: cardiac cannonitis.

See? They're not even trying anymore. I can't tell if they've given up on the gullible and have just decided to go for the stupid, or if they're trying to become a parody of their former self-parody. What happened to the good old days when our Senators were space aliens? Or Bat Boy? Or the World's Fattest Man finding love with the World's Skinniest Woman?

I am filled with sadness. I will go and listen to Art Bell so that I may find comfort.